can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like
(taking attendance) Bueller?.......
Girl: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's
brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid
who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31
Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty
asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born
under a bad sign?
my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump
of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a
Rooney: He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this
Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does,
He'll keep callin' me.... he'll keep callin' me until I go
over. He'll make me feel guilty...THIS IS.... This is
ridiculous, ok? I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll
go... wai.. I'll go... shit.
(car starts... then stops, sounds of Cameron hitting his
hand against the car's seat)
(car starts and roars... Cameron screams... car stops.)
Forget it... that's it.
Mike Meyer's tirade about how much he
hates Colonel Sanders (So I Married An Axe Murderer)
Michelle: This one time, at band
camp... (American Pie) [06/02/00]
This is a Delta Airlines Commercial,
Jive-style... you dig? [02/09/00]
off, man. I'm a scientist. (Ghostbusters)
Doc Holliday: I'm
your huckleberry. (Tombstone)
we play a game? (War Games)
Lloyd: Is it possible for you
to shut the fuck up for ten seconds? (The
off now, Joboo. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You
no help me now, I say fuck you, Joboo, I do it
myself. (Major League)
Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey
messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upside
down his head! (Golly, that white fellow should stay away from
my wife or I will punch him.) Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it!
You know he
ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man! (Yes, he is wrong
for doing that.) Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say
pray to J I get the same ol' same ol. (I knew a man in a similar
predicament, and he
ended up being sorry.) Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick.
matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin,
man'. (Don't be naive, Arthur. Each of us faces a clear
moral choice.) Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to
get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack
'em. (Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy,
wealthy and wise.) Jiveman1: Col' got to be! Yo! (How
true!) Jiveman1: Sheeeeeeet! (Golly!) Airplane!
George McFly: Hey
you... get your damn hands off her! (Back to
I guess there just aren't enough rocks. (Forrest Gump)
is one big pile of shit. (Jurassic Park)
no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room and
someone who will listen to your boring stories. I mean
didn't you notice on the plane, when you starting talking,
eventually I started reading the vomit bag?
Neal: Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows.
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
(much shivering and grimacing by both)
Neal: See that Bears game last week?
Del: Yeah, helluva a game, helluva game. Bears gotta great
team this year.
Car Clerk: Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?
Clerk: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile
off your rosey fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a
fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A
fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a
Clerk: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left
me in the middle of fucking nowhere, with the fucking keys
to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really
didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking hiway and across
a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my
fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now.
Clerk: May I see your rental agreement.
Neal: I threw it away.
Clerk: Oh boy...
Neal: Oh boy what?
Clerk: You're fucked.
I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles
before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did.
Otherwise you'd be looking up your schnutz to tie your
shoes. I'm sorry, that's terrible. Do you have any idea how
glad I am I didn't kill you?
Neal: Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you
Let me just close this conversation by saying that you are
one unique individual.
Del: What is "unique"? Latin for "asshole?"
Humperdinck: She is alive, or was an hour ago.
If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to
Vizzini: Haha.. you fool! You fell victim to one
of the classic blunders. The most famous is: Never get involved in a
land war in Asia. Only slightly less well know is this: Never go against
a Sicilian when death is on the line!