<

How to Identify the Driver's Home: An FYI Guide, PART II


Both hands on top of wheel, one foot on brake, watching pedestrians cross against the light: San Francisco

One hand on the wheel, one hand drumming (with drum stick) on the dash board, Lap top on top of the Dashboard, left foot tapping, right foot on the accelerator, head bobbing from side to side: Silicon Valley, listening to KEZR

Both hands praying to Gates, knee on wheel, cradling cell phone in lap, foot on brake, mind on Win95 GUI: Seattle

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving a gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with New York plates.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window: Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70 mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome 38 revolver with mother of pearl inlayed handle in the glove compartment: Texas female


Part One

BACK