APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER


NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, school history, job history, ancestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medical report from your doctor.

NAME____________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #__________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?


If NO, please explain



Number of years they have been married


If less than your age, explain



Do you own a van? ____________A truck with oversized tires?___________

A waterbed?____________A pickup with a mattress in the back?__________

A condom?_______________Pornography?_______________Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring? ____________A tattoo?_____________

(IF YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?



In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?



In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?



Church you attend


How often you attend


When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________ clergyman? _______________

mother? _____________ parole officer? __________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

C: A woman's place is in the:___________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:


E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:


NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What do you want to do IF you grow up? _________________________


What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________

Condoms come in packages of (circle one)

  1. 3
  2. 6
  3. 9
  4. 12
  5. ALL OF THE ABOVE

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE & RED HOT POKERS.


Signature

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing.

Have a nice day.


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